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We’ve always had female dogs.

Our Beagle was already spayed when we got her. So was our Husky.

But our Pomhuahua wasn’t.

She went through her first heat when she was pretty young, and honestly?

It wasn’t that big of a deal.

Her heat lasted about five days. She wore a doggy diaper without much complaint. We got through it, had her spayed afterward, and moved on with our lives.

That was also about 20 years ago.

So when our veterinarian recommended that we wait until after Electra’s first heat to have her spayed, we thought we knew what we were signing up for.

We did not.

Not even a little bit.

Of Course It Started on the Day of a Huge Party

Electra apparently consulted our family calendar before deciding when to go into heat.

My husband was having a big birthday party.

The house needed to be cleaned. There was food to prepare. People were coming over. I was already running around trying to get everything done.

And that’s when Electra started her first heat.

Perfect.

I did what any prepared and organized dog owner would do.

I panic-ordered doggy diapers on Instant Cart.

Problem solved.

Or so I thought.

The diapers arrived and I immediately discovered a small design flaw in my brilliant plan:

Doggy diapers are apparently designed with the assumption that your dog has a tail.

Electra is a French Bulldog.

Electra does not have much in the tail department.

There was nothing helping that diaper stay where a diaper needs to stay.

So now, in addition to preparing for a huge birthday party, I was researching specialized diaper containment systems for my menstruating Frenchie.

I found doggy suspenders and a diaper system that looked like it might actually stay on her.

Amazon.

Overnight delivery.

Done.

We would survive one messy night and tomorrow everything would be under control.

This was adorable optimism.

Then Zeus Discovered the Suspenders

The special diaper arrived the next day.

It had suspenders.

Finally!

We put it on Electra.

Zeus immediately grabbed onto it and started dragging her around the house.

So that was going well.

Between Electra trying to remove the diaper herself and Zeus apparently believing we’d attached a convenient handle to his sister, keeping a diaper on this dog became nearly impossible.

The suspenders helped.

Sort of.

But if Electra was out playing with Zeus during the day, there was a pretty good chance that diaper wasn’t staying where we’d put it.

Thankfully, Electra has her own kennel, so at night we could separate the dogs and she could sleep with her diaper on without Zeus assisting in its removal.

Daytime was another story.

We Thought This Would Last Five Days

Remember our Pomhuahua?

Five days.

That’s approximately what I had in my head.

A few annoying days.

Maybe a week.

We’d deal with the diapers, keep an eye on Electra, get through it and be done.

Electra’s heat lasted about four weeks.

FOUR.

WEEKS.

This was not a minor inconvenience.

This became an entire season of our lives.

Electra Wasn’t Electra Anymore

The bleeding and diapers weren’t even the hardest part.

The biggest surprise was how much Electra’s behavior changed.

She seemed so sad.

Our normally energetic, playful, slightly psycho little Frenchie suddenly had very little energy.

She didn’t want to play with Zeus the way she normally did.

She didn’t seem interested in much.

She just wasn’t herself.

And that was difficult to watch because we couldn’t explain to her what was happening or tell her that eventually she was going to feel normal again.

Even eating changed.

Zeus and Electra normally like eating together.

During Electra’s heat?

Absolutely not.

She became territorial about her food. If Zeus came near her while she was eating, she would growl and get upset.

So we started feeding them separately.

Even then, sometimes she didn’t seem particularly interested in eating.

She just seemed miserable.

Zeus Was Also Having a Very Confusing Month

Zeus is neutered.

Apparently nobody told Zeus that this meant he could sit this particular hormonal event out.

He was fascinated by Electra.

He tried to hump her throughout her heat.

And Electra wasn’t exactly innocent either.

She was also very interested in Zeus in ways we had never seen before.

There was a lot of behavior happening in our house that made us say:

“Okay! That’s enough of that!”

We also stopped letting them sleep together during her heat.

Normally Zeus and Electra love sleeping together, so separating them at night was another adjustment for both of them.

Electra was miserable.

Zeus was confused.

We were tired.

Everyone was ready for this heat to be over.

And Then There Was the Swelling

Here is another thing I was completely unprepared for:

The swelling.

Electra’s vulva became extremely swollen during her heat.

And it wasn’t just her vulva.

Her nipples became much larger and far more pronounced too.

Again, maybe I simply don’t remember these changes happening with our Pomhuahua all those years ago. Maybe her longer fur made everything less noticeable.

But Electra?

Short fur.

Tiny Frenchie tail.

Nothing was hidden.

The physical changes were very obvious.

Her nipples became so much more noticeable during her heat, and even after her heat ended, they never completely returned to how tiny and inconspicuous they had been before. They’re still larger and more pronounced now than they were when she was a puppy.

Between that and the swelling of her vulva, Electra suddenly looked physically different.

Initially, it was pretty startling because I genuinely wasn’t expecting such dramatic changes.

It was another one of those moments where I thought:

Why did nobody tell me about THIS part?

Nobody Warned Us We’d Have to Explain This to a Child

There was another member of our household who noticed these changes.

Our young son.

Of course he noticed.

And he had questions.

A lot of questions.

Why is Electra wearing a diaper?

Why is she bleeding?

What’s happening to her?

Why does that look like that?

Why is Zeus doing that?

And suddenly what had begun as our dog’s first heat had also become an impromptu family biology lesson that my husband and I were not remotely prepared to give yet.

There are certain conversations you imagine carefully introducing to your child at an appropriate age and time.

And then there is:

“Well, you see, Electra is…”

Followed by two parents looking at each other and silently communicating:

How much are we explaining here?!

Thanks, Electra.

Nothing like a French Bulldog in heat to accelerate the family health curriculum.

We Were Terrified of an Accidental Pregnancy

During Electra’s heat, we also became extremely cautious about letting her outside.

Zeus is neutered, so pregnancy wasn’t a concern with him.

Random intact male dogs in the neighborhood were another matter.

We didn’t want Electra outside unsupervised while she was in heat, even in our own yard.

So for that month, her freedom was considerably more limited than usual.

She spent more time in her kennel, particularly when we couldn’t supervise her closely.

Thankfully, she didn’t seem to mind her kennel.

But between keeping her separated when necessary, supervising her outside, managing diapers, monitoring Zeus and dealing with her personality changes, her first heat affected our entire household much more than I had expected.

How I’d Prepare for a Dog’s First Heat Now

If I could go back and prepare myself for Electra’s first heat again, I would do things very differently.

First, I would buy everything before the heat starts.

Do not be me.

Do not discover that your Frenchie needs specialized diaper engineering while simultaneously preparing for your husband’s birthday party.

I’d have several properly fitting dog diapers ready to go. For a French Bulldog or another dog without much of a tail, I’d specifically look at options designed to stay secure on tailless or short-tailed dogs. I’d also have backups because even the better diaper-and-suspender setup wasn’t foolproof with Electra.

I’d create a plan for separating dogs when necessary, particularly if there’s another dog in the house.

I’d be prepared to supervise every outdoor trip and make sure everyone in the household understands why doors, gates and fences suddenly matter even more than usual.

I’d also prepare for behavioral and physical changes.

Your dog’s experience may be completely different from Electra’s, but I wish I’d known that she might not act like herself—and that changes like swelling could be much more noticeable than I expected.

And perhaps most importantly, I wouldn’t assume I knew exactly how long it was going to last just because I’d previously owned another female dog.

Our Pomhuahua’s experience and Electra’s experience weren’t remotely the same.

If you’re unsure whether something you’re seeing during your dog’s heat is normal—or you’re concerned about her behavior, appetite, bleeding, swelling or anything else—call your veterinarian rather than relying on somebody else’s dog’s experience.

Including Electra’s.

Was Waiting Until After Electra’s First Heat Worth It?

This was something I questioned while we were going through it.

There were moments during that month when Electra seemed so miserable that I wondered whether we’d made the right decision by waiting.

But we had made that decision after talking with our veterinarian, who recommended allowing Electra to go through her first heat before having her spayed.

Once it was finally over, we scheduled her spay.

And I did notice changes in her afterward.

Electra seemed to fill out physically. Before her heat, she still had more of that puppy look to her. Afterward, she seemed to suddenly look more like an adult dog.

She also seemed a little more mature.

A little calmer.

Let me emphasize a little.

She’s still Electra.

She’s still a psycho.

She’s just a slightly more adult psycho.

I’m glad we followed the plan we made with our veterinarian, but I wouldn’t tell another Frenchie owner when they should spay their dog based on Electra’s experience. That’s something to discuss with your own veterinarian because every dog and situation is different.

Four Weeks Later, We Got Our Electra Back

Slowly, after what felt like an eternity, she started coming back.

Her energy returned.

She wanted to play again.

She started acting like Electra.

And I don’t think I realized how much I’d missed her personality until I saw it returning.

Her first heat was nothing like the experience I’d had with our Pomhuahua years earlier.

It was longer.

Messier.

More emotional.

More complicated.

And considerably more difficult on Electra than I expected.

I went into it thinking:

We’ve had female dogs before. We know how this works.

Electra apparently took that personally.

She made sure her first heat was an educational experience for the entire family.

Literally.

And if there’s one thing I know for certain now, it’s this:

The next time someone tells me their female dog’s first heat was “no big deal,” I’m going to smile politely.

Then I’m going to remember four weeks of diapers, suspenders, supervised bathroom breaks, hormonal Frenchies, separate sleeping arrangements, Zeus dragging Electra around by her diaper, and a child asking questions neither parent had prepared answers for…

And thank God we only had to do it once.